Praises for the TSA

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We join our glorious Soviet brothers of the TSA in rejoicing at the final overthrow of the bourgeoisie conception of “liberty” and “freedom of expression” at the Homeland’s airports.

The People’s Anonymous Commissar announced:

This change will apply exclusively to individuals that simply refuse to provide any identification or assist transportation security officers in ascertaining their identity.

This new procedure will not affect passengers that may have misplaced, lost or otherwise do not have ID but are cooperative with officers.

…Passengers that fail to comply with security procedures may be prohibited from entering the secure area of airports to catch their flight.

(“TSA Announces Enhancements to Airport ID Requirements to Increase Liberty“)

Commissar Hawley stated “with this advance, we overcome the latest tactic of the counter-revolutionary, and ensure that our internal passport system is fully functional.”

He went on to explain that this enhances our first ammendment rights to free expression by ensuring that all free expression will be supportive of the new policy, and that under United States v. Biswell, 406 U.S. 311 (1972), a comrade’s entry into a perversely pervasively regulated area permits content-based speech restrictions.

We are also renaming this blog “Imposed Order.”

It is the policy of Imposed Order that all comments will be supportive of this policy and the new name for the blog.


News via Gary Leff. Image via Lenin Internet Archive.

9 thoughts on “Praises for the TSA

  1. I, for one, salute our blog-renaming bandleader overlord, and remind him….

  2. This change will apply exclusively to individuals that simply refuse to provide any identification or assist transportation security officers in ascertaining their identity.

    I’m happy to assist them in ascertaining my identity. So why is it my fault that they don’t know how to play charades?

  3. So if you’re *stupid*, and forget/lose your ID it’s OK, the TSA forgives you. If you’re *smart* and refuse on the basis of individual rights, however, well, then we’re gonna have to have a little talk…
    The real bullcrap about this is that it’s not going to stop “terrorists”. If a “terrorist” is trying to board a plane without ID and an intent to do harm – what’s he going to do:
    1.) Act all naive and helpless and say his ID was lost/forgotten/stolen
    or
    2.) Refuse to produce ID on the basis of his rights as an individual
    Hmmmmmmmm….. Hmmmmmmmmmm…….

  4. Re Alex’s post:
    3) Have ID ready so that the idiots will admit him to the “secure area” of the airport with no hassle.
    We already know that these rules don’t deter terrorists, but they provide lots of new jobs for the otherwise unemployable.

  5. Comrades! Good news from the western front!
    @beri:”We already know that these rules don’t deter terrorists, but they provide lots of new jobs for the otherwise unemployable.” — And people say the government doesn’t help create jobs!
    I find this rule particularly interesting. Mainly because I tend to get extra attention from the TSA at certain points in time (directly related to the length of my beard). I find it a rather statistical improbability of getting the full search both ways during a flight to Virginia Beach, although I did have a wonderful talk with a TSA agent about his Blockbuster Online subscription. You guys wouldn’t believe what conversational items they find while rooting through all your goods.
    From a pure usability perspective, and my hatred for airports, I tend to just have my ID ready to go when showing my ticket to the TSA Entrance Kommisar. Basically, I want the smoothest experience possible because I expect to get jerked around by an air carrier at some point in time during the day.

  6. I’m curious if you all also feel that we shouldn’t be required to have ID when driving. I guess I have trouble feeling like this is a unique invasion of privacy when ID is required for so many other situations, most of them involving much less of a security threat.

  7. @Orv:
    Ostensibly, my ID for driving gives authorities some assurance that I have the minimum ability needed to operate a motor vehicle – that I know about street signs and speed limits and how long prior to/after sunset/sunrise I should put on my lights, etc…
    I don’t think any special training (other than the seatbelt overhead O2 thingy that the flight attendants do) is needed to ride in an airplane.

  8. Orv, no one checks my ID before I drive. An officer can demand it during a traffic stop, but that generally requires probable cause.
    PS. IANAL.

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