Why the Star Wars Prequels Sucked

It is a truism that the Star Wars prequels sucked. (Elsewhere, I’ve commented that the franchise being sold to Disney means someone can finally tell the tragic story of Anakin Skywalker’s seduction by the dark side.)

But the issue of exactly why they sucked is complex and layered, and most of us prefer not to consider it too deeply. Fortunately, you no longer have to. You can simply get “Why the Star Wars Prequels Sucked, and Why It Matters,” a short “Polemic on Aesthetics, Ethics and Politics. With Lightsabers.”

Really, what else do you need to know?

An example? Ok, the diner scene, and how it compares to the cantina scene. The cantina exudes otherness and menace. The diner looks like it was filmed in 1950s and then had a few weird things ‘shopped in. The scene undercuts the world which Star Wars established. Or the casual tossing in that Anakin was a virgin birth, and how after tying to one of the most enduring stories in western culture, the subject is then never referred to again.

Or the utter lack of consequence of anything in the stories, since we already know how they’ll come out, and how, by focusing on characters whose fates we know, Lucas drains any dramatic tension of of the story. The list goes on and on, and if you want to know why you hated the prequels so much, this is a short and easy read, and highly worthwhile.

Oh, and you’ll learn how Lando Calrissian is Faust. So go buy it already.

One last thing. Delano Lopez? That’s a name I hadn’t heard in a very long time. But he and I went to school together.

Systems Not Sith: Organizational Lessons From Star Wars

In Star Wars, the Empire is presented as a monolith. Storm Troopers, TIE Fighters and even Star Destroyers are supposedly just indistinguishable cogs in a massive military machine, single-mindedly pursuing a common goal. This is, of course, a façade – like all humans, the soldiers and Officers of the Imperial Military will each have their own interests and loyalties. The Army is going to compete with the Navy, the Fighter jocks are going to compete with the Star Destroyer Captains, and the AT-AT crews are going to compete with Storm Troopers.

Read the whole thing at “Overthinking It”: “Systems, Not Sith: How Inter-service Rivalries Doomed the Galactic Empire“. And if you missed it, my take on security lessons from Star Wars.

Thanks to Bruce for the pointer.

My AusCert Gala talk

At AusCert, I had the privilege to share a the gala dinner stage with LaserMan and Axis of Awesome, and talk about a few security lessons from Star Wars.

I forgot to mention onstage that I’ve actually illustrated all eight of the Saltzer and Schroeder principles, and collected them up as a single page. That is “The Security Principles of Salzter and Schroeder, Illustrated with Scenes from Star Wars“. Enjoy!

Saturn’s Moon Enceladus

NASA claims that:

At least four distinct plumes of water ice spew out from the south polar region of Saturn’s moon Enceladus in this dramatically illuminated image.

Light reflected off Saturn is illuminating the surface of the moon while the sun, almost directly behind Enceladus, is backlighting the plumes. See Bursting at the Seams to learn more about Enceladus and its plumes.

PIA12733-br500.jpg

But they can’t fool me. That’s no moon, that’s a battle station.

Saltzer, Schroeder, and Star Wars

When this blog was new, I did a series of posts on “The Security Principles of Saltzer and Schroeder,” illustrated with scenes from Star Wars.

When I migrated the blog, the archive page was re-ordered, and I’ve just taken a few minutes to clean that up. The easiest to read version is “Security Principles of Saltzer and Schroeder, illustrated with scenes from Star Wars.

So if you’re not familiar with Saltzer and Schroeder:

Let me start by explaining who Saltzer and Schroeder are, and why I keep referring to them. Back when I was a baby in diapers, Jerome Saltzer and Michael Schoeder wrote a paper “The Protection of Information in Computer Systems.” That paper has been referred to as one of the most cited, least read works in computer security history. And look! I’m citing it, never having read it.

If you want to read it, the PDF version (484k) may be a good choice for printing. The bit that everyone knows about is the eight principles of design that they put forth. And it is these that I’ll illustrate using Star Wars. Because lets face it, illustrating statements like “This kind of arrangement is accomplished by providing, at the higher level, a list-oriented guard whose only purpose is to hand out temporary tickets which the lower level (ticket-oriented) guards will honor” using Star Wars is a tricky proposition. (I’d use the escape from the Millennium Falcon with Storm Trooper uniforms as tickets as a starting point, but its a bit of a stretch.)